Do you ever get swept up on focusing on the end result?
The wedding day, the book deal, the first 10 clients, the dream gig, the dream guy?
I certainly have and still do at times. Especially for the big, big dreams my soul desires the most to experience in this lifetime.
Some part of me (my scared ego self who just wants to stay small, hidden and ultimately safe) is just to impatient and tries to deter from the ‘everyday’ element of my dreams.
But i’ve come to realise that its in the ‘everyday’ elements of life that we really discover who we are. The end result doesn’t define us as much as who we are choosing to be and how we choose to show up for ourselves, for our loved ones and for our dreams day in and day out.
Whats the point of getting ‘there’ and having ruined your relationship, or friendships or let go of taking care of you along the way? The end gig will definitely not make up for the loss of self along the way.
Does ‘success’ really require us to forgo a certain level of quality of life throughout the journey?
Don’t get me wrong, creating a live you adore and treasure does require you to make choices and prioritize your time, energy and commitments. But if you put your happiness, joy, well-being and sense of self in the end result, the journey is certainly going to give you a bumpy ride.
So how do we achieve and experience our deepest desires in love, work, lifestyle, health and community without letting go of ourselves?
- Get real. Most dreams take time, months, years, and some even a lifetime. That means who we choose to be each and every day counts and matters most. It also means, the happier we are along the way, the higher quality of life we get to enjoy. Plus and most important, we don’t get what we want, we get who we are being…aka…we attract more of what we are vibrating out. Like attracts like. So the more you enjoy the ride, the more the ride will give you to enjoy!
- Life is NOW not when we arrive. We can slave away but then die or loose something precious to us (health, a relationship etc) along the way. The end result won’t be able to undo the damage done along the way. More importantly, the feeling of the end result is available to us now. The joy, the pleasure, the freedom of spirit, the gratitude is all within us in this moment and only ever in this moment. Therefore, being fully present (something that I have honestly let go of alot lately) to what is right here right now, whether it be cleaning the house, making an important phone call, having difficult conversations, prioritizing exercise as if it’s ALL THAT MATTERS is what it is all about really. Being a new mum hasn’t definitely reminded me of this.
- Live each day intentionally. How do we choose to spend out time, especially our ‘spare time’ when the baby is finally asleep or when you finish work for the day. Are you really making the most of this time to do what lights you up or to simply commit 30mins a day towards creating your dream? We can never get back our time and how we spend our time today helps to create a more fulfilling tomorrow. Imagine if you lived the next 10.5 months with absolute, wholehearted intention…imagine who you would be on the 31st December 2016…imagine who you would be this day next year, or how your life would be on 19 February 2017. Every single moment really does give us the opportunity to create our deepest desires and to create a life we truly adore.
- Focus your attention on your desires. Sometimes dreams don’t come true because we are too busy replaying the past on constant ‘reply’ in our minds and we wonder why nothing is changing in ourselves or our lives. Become the observer of your thoughts over the next 24 hours and see how much you are focused on the past, the present or the future? Are you really here? are you focusing your energy on what you want to create today, or are you busy beating yourself up from something you did or did not do 2 years ago? We can’t rewrite the past, but we always have the power to create our now and our future from who we are being and what we are doing now.
- Create a community. Share the journey, get involved, reach out, share, join a group or create a group of like minded people who are also having fun while creating their dreams. Especially as women. Women soar in the company of other women (usually, unless your still in a bitchy high school group situation-get out now, you deserve better, but you gotta give that to yourself). We lift each other up, we show each other what is possible by the way we are showing up for ourselves. Ellen, Oprah, Beyonce, Marie Forleo, my mother, my daughter, my friends (and so many more ppl I admire and follow on Social Media)…they all inspire me to be ME, to keep on creating and to keep on loving no matter what. We lead by example and our example will lead others along their path too without us even knowing it. I am thinking of creating a FB group especially for this called: “Living our desires” A group of people who can connect, share and inspire each other to live each day as they truly desire. So if this is something you would like please comment below or contact me to say “I’m in” and I’ll create it.
You have no idea how many dreams you will inspire in others just by being you and by living yours. I would not be where I am today or who I am today without having many women and people inspire me to unleash the real me and to have the courage and conviction to claim my dream life!
That leads to no 6.
6. The journey makes the destination even sweeter. Think of something you are proud of in your life. Did you once not have this, feel like this or experience this? Don’t you think that is why this moment now feels freaking awesome…because it was once not in your reality, this feeling or moment was once just a dream? The hard times are a part of it. The confusing, lost, unsure times are all apart of it. The messiness of it all makes the art that is our lives that much more meaningful and fulfilling.
I certainly hope you keep going, keep creating you desires one day at a time and soon enough you may ‘arrive’ somewhere and look back and be so grateful you never gave up on yourself or your desires and most importantly enjoyed yourself as much as possible along the way, for the places you’ve been and seen and most importantly for the people you met along the way.
Another way to think about it is…on your deathbed, who would you be proud of becoming? What would you be proud of creating in this life of yours? What would you be most grateful for?
Much love and light,
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