So much pain is self-inflicted when we continue to aim for external goals to fulfil us, define who we are and to make us FEEL good. The ego seeks to trip us up short; for us to limit ourselves to the external goals in life.
We are so much more than that. Our senses are so much more than that; our potential to FEEL, LIVE and EXPERIENCE love is so much more than our ‘external goals’.
When we are always looking outside of us and placing our happiness on our external achievements, we miss the miracle that the present moment has to offer us. When we connect to the present moment in stillness, silence and gratitude; it’s as if we drop into a well of love within.
So with so much ‘focus’ on the external goals in life – to have that job, that relationships, that bank account balance…when do we give ourselves permission to feel ‘good enough’? When do we know we have ‘arrived’ at our desired intentions? Yes we can measure them, but I was under the impression our goals are set for us to ‘experience’ a feeling.
So is it not about FEELING the GROWTH that is living in each moment. Growing is also about experiencing a deeper level of love within ourselves.
I don’t think we ever arrive; once we reach one mountain top, we can now see a deeper valley to cross and an even higher peak ahead…hence life is more about continual growth and seeking that which lights you up and ignites your heart and soul to expand to levels never experienced quite that deep before.
I can’t help but relate this to the beautiful experience that is travelling. While we call it ‘culture shock’, I beg to differ…perhaps its more about ‘growth shock’. Having lived in Tanzania, East Africa for 16 months, I experienced ‘reversed culture shock’ intensely upon my return (almost a year ago now). When you travel, you grow and expand. You are likely to see, hear, feel and do things you have never done before. You become a deeper more expanded version of who you were before the trip. You are out of your usual comfort zone and you therefore, inevitably you GROW.
Then we return ‘home’ to that previous level of existence we were once living – with 99% of everything the same – the people, their lives, the streets, the buildings…with the exception of a few new cafes, some new births and marriages…we return from travelling to find ourselves GROWN. Along the path of a traveller…the growth and expansion lights us up, so once you return ‘home’…it is no wonder people are confused, overwhelmed, unhappy and go into a little ‘shock’ aka. “please pause the screen until I can figure out my next move, I no longer like this feeling I once was used to…can we fast forward to the next adventure – pretty please!”
If we are not green and growing…we are dying on the inside. In order to be happy we must grow, or at least GO on that journey within, to a deeper level of relationship with ourselves: to a deeper level of love within ourselves.
It is not only the relationships we have with ourselves; growth is also required between nations and people from every culture. Growth will expand the fears and limitations people place upon others they have never met before. Growth is therefore the lifeblood of humanity. If you want others to grow, you must “be the change you wish to see in the world” ~ Gandhi.
In this moment, we have journeyed from yesterday’s fears and decisions and we are expanded by today’s infinite possibilities.
It’s the union between; this is it and we never arrive.
We never arrive because we are already here.
There can be a misconception in the Personal Development industry and in therapy that denotes that there is something within you that ‘needs to be fixed’…for so long, I did not understand how to change the sad feelings within or the external circumstances that no longer ‘felt right’; for so long I thought I was the problem. I thought it was ‘me’.
Once I truly got this, I felt lighter: “When we know better, we can do better”. That is why I believe the greatest gift in personal development is the gift of awareness.
Awareness is the first agent of change after all and is 95% of change.
So it becomes more about how can I be more loving and accepting of myself than it is about the arrival at the ‘new and approved me’.
A shift in perception is the change we require to shift our external circumstances. This is because our lives directly mirror what is within us.
So when we grow and expand, we really aren’t getting any closer to the landing mat, we are getting closer to WHO WE REALLY ARE – the highest expression of our true selves. When we let go of a layer of pain, sadness, anger, resentment, shame, guilt or unworthiness we connect with ourselves on a deeper level of love. This is why we are so much more than our goals.
We are love. Expand, grow and go on the journeys that ‘light you up’…therein lies your medicine.
ps. I have hosting a ‘Be the Change’ Call: 7 Steps to Transform your Life from the inside-out this Thursday 13th June. Sign up under the ‘events’ page on my website. x